Color Blind

Hey, driver in front of me.  The light is green. Why’d you stop? I’m assuming you’re color blind. You should get that checked out. Otherwise, what are you on? Some of us have places to be. Maybe you shouldn’t be driving.

 

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Indirect Gossiper

Dear Gossiping Woman,

When you start a conversation with, “I don’t know if I’m just spreading gossip,” it’s clear that you’re just spreading gossip. Why play dumb? What are you on? A better way to start would be, “Hey! I’ve called to gossip.” That way, your intentions are stated clearly and you don’t sound stupid.

 

Yours Truly,

Annoyed Bystander

Sir, can I help you?

When I’m working, there is a customer who stands and watches me until I look directly at him. He’s clearly old enough to be my grandfather and he’s married. One day he stood and talked to me while waiting for his wife. Nothing odd about that. People talk my ears off all the time. But then he went on to say that I am eye candy and asked if I know what eye candy is. I just wonder. Why, if he thought I was too young to comprehend the concept of eye candy, was he hitting on me? He then proceeded to say, “You’re the most beautifulest girl I ever seen.” While I appreciate the compliment, he needs auto correct. Plus, he probably has grandchildren older than I am. All of this ridiculousness while waiting for his wife to find him and I just remained polite because I was at work.

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